Adoption Training in MPLS

Two Wednesdays ago, I cancelled my evening guitar students and Kari and I drove to Minneapolis to do the training that Lutheran Social Services mandates for everyone adopting through them.

The training was all day Thursday and started at 8AM, so making the 4 hour drive the night before and paying for a hotel room was WELL worth it. Our hotel room turned out to have been vastly misrepresented by the pictures on the hotel website – not only was it extremely cramped and dingy; it also had, mounted directly over the head of the bed, a charcoal-tinted mirror that looked suspiciously like it might have, in another life, protected the identity of a witness identifying a suspect from a lineup. We were pretty amused. Weirdness notwithstanding, the sheets were clean, the bed was comfortable, and we woke up more or less ready to go the next day.

By the time we were actually headed to the training Kari’s nerves had settled some and I was actually getting kind of excited, not so much because I thought that the training would be really exciting (though it a way it was) but because it brings us one step closer to a baby of our own. I have to say, I was not expecting LSS headquarters to be nearly as nice/modern as it was. All the natural light, open spaces, etc. put me at ease. We arrived early and sat in the foyer until the LSS staff doing the training showed up, gave us a packet of training materials, and ushered us into the room where the training was held.

We were by far the youngest couple there. Seating for trainees was at smallish tables seating 8 people each, and we were the first to arrive at ours. With these types of things you never know who you’ll sit with, but we were fortunate enough to be joined by two couples who were really friendly, had gone through some of the same stuff we have, and just made the day a lot more fun.

The training itself was really good. There were quite a few topics covered, including how to deal with your child’s sense of loss and other identity issues adopted children deal with, how to deal with the issues involved in raising a child from another race/culture, how to effectively communicate with and relate to the adopted child’s birth parents, and a bunch of other stuff. At the end there was a panel-type discussion and Q&A session with three families with adopted children, as well as two of the birth mothers of those children. I think most people realize that the adoption process is a complicated and sometimes messy one, but I came away from the training with a lot to think about. Some of the things we learned were things that either I had heard before or was easy enough to see through a little common sense, but a lot of the issues involved are things I would never have thought of on my own, especially regarding the loss felt by adopted children even when they know their birth parents as well as all the issues involved in parenting a child of another race or culture.

Overall it was a really great experience. In addition to learning a ton of stuff that will help us be better parents we met some really great people who we will hopefully keep in contact with throughout the process. Most of the people were from the Twin Cities area so it will be tough to get together with them on a regular basis but we want to try to meet up with some of the couples we met from time to time, because it’s unbelievably nice to talk to people who are going through a lot of the same things as we are.

72 pages.

We finished up our application and got it sent off today!  Our last things on the list were getting our fingerprints and finishing out adoption study questionnaire.  In total, it took us only 1 week and 1 day to pull all of this together.  We got really lucky with some stuff.  For instance, I called on Monday about getting fingerprints done, and they ONLY do them Monday nights and Saturday mornings.  Well, Saturday would've been too late to meet our deadline.  So thank goodness, I called Monday instead of waiting until Tuesday like we were going to.  Otherwise we would've been too late!

Photo time!  Here are our finished fingerprint sheets:

And here's the 72 pages of application we had to fill out (sorry about the quality - cell phone photo).

Mailing it off!

Training is next week (Thursday).  After that, we just need to get physicals, do our home study, get our references, and make our profile book!  We want to get a baby room ready so that when we get that call, we are all ready to go.  We'll also need to buy a carseat.

I can't believe how fast this has all come together!  Hopefully it happened that way for a reason, and that reason being that there is already a baby growing in someone else's tummy for us, and we need to rush to get it all done so that we can bring him or her home soon.  :)

Things will be happening quicker than planned!

We no longer need to wait until May to do our home study, because we are moving into a new home sometime next month!  We just have to wait until it's done being built.  So, since we are moving out of our apartment, we are able to do the home study as soon as we can finish up the application and training.  Yay!

more stuff in the mail

Today, we received Ben's birth certificate and the background check paperwork (including the papers for our fingerprints) in the mail.  Getting close to having it all together!  We just have to wait for our health insurance proof to come in the mail.  Other than that, we can take care of the rest.  1 sheet to be notarized, filling out our adoption study questionnaire, and doing our online training.

Normally we wouldn't be in such a rush, but since we are doing the training workshop in the cities in less than 2 weeks, we are on a deadline.  If we didn't get it finished before then, we would have to wait for the December workshop, and we really don't want to wait that long.

I am kicking this application's bum

We got the application yesterday and got all registered for the training.  When looking through the application, I started to think there was no possible way that we could get it all done in two weeks or less.  I mean, this thing usually takes people more time than that!  So, during naptime yesterday and then again last night, I set out to do as much as I could.  I must say, I am quite impressed by how much I got done.  I think deadlines are good for me, especially when I want something so very badly.

Here's my list of things to get done, and the bolded are what we have finished in the last 24 hours or so.
1. Adoption Study Application Form
2. Individual Fact Sheet (2)
3. Adoption Study Questionnaire (this part is SUPER lengthy) (2)
4. Fee Disclosure Statement and Acknowledgement Form
5. Adoption Services Contract
6. Birth Parent Services Fee Agreement
7. Authorization for Release of Information (must be notarized)
8. Background Check Packet (still being sent to us)
9. Medical Form (2) - not due yet
10. Client Confidentiality Statement
11. Adoption Program Service Plan
12. Adoptive Family Data Sheet
13. Ben's birth certificate copy - called and is being sent out
14. Kari's birth certificate copy
15. Copy of marriage certificate
16. Verification of Health Insurance - called, and is being sent out
17. Reference letters (not due yet)
18. Copy of most recent income tax return

Oof.  Oh, and we also need to get going on some online training that needs to be completed before we attend the training in the cities.  Lots to do!

getting things started

Today, I paid our registration fee and signed up for mandatory training down in Minneapolis this month!  The training is on a Thursday and it's all day.  It starts at 8:00 a.m. and ends at 6:30 p.m.  So we'll be heading down the night before and staying at a hotel so that we can be down there already and not have to worry about leaving really early from home.

If we say we are too busy to hang out this month, there's good reason for it!  :)  We have a pretty lengthy application that needs to be filled out before heading to the training.  We also have been getting things packed up and ready to move in November.